Hearing God's Voice

Throughout the last year, I have been trying to understand what it means for a person to hear the voice of God. In the Bible, there are a lot of stories of people and the ways they hear God. A lot of people see visions, especially prophets like Daniel and Ezekiel. Though Amos had prophetic visions, he was just a normal farmer when he heard God say, "Go prophesy to My people Israel."Peter saw a vision to go talk to Cornelius and begin the ministry among Gentiles. While Jesus is among his disciples, I suppose he is the voice of God among them, since he and the Father are one. And once he leave, he promises to provide another counselor, the Holy Spirit. The voice of God is still speaking, then, to his people.

However,I still struggle with the concept, for a couple of reasons. In reading A Celebration of Disciplines, I definitely came to the conclusion that silence is a huge part of hearing God's voice. Richard Foster, and other contemplative writers like Thomas Merton, points out that we have to be silent and empty ourselves of us and ask to be filled with Christ's presence. Meditation is not emptying oneself of everything, but rather the filling of oneself with Christ. My first struggle is the knowledge that my own thoughts and desires can so often get in the way of God's voice. How can I be sure that what I'm hearing is God and not just an echo of my own desires, especially when what I hear as God's voice is what I want? And even if on the surface it appears that it's not even what I want, what if there are deeper issues that I'm not willing to admit even to myself, and so all I'm really doing is masking my desires with the voice of God? The discernment of the Holy Spirit is tough. And that's why I think he gave us community with other people. I feel like God knows us so well that he gives us a community to help us confirm what we're being led to by Him. And maybe that does not always happen, but I tend to feel like that's a big part of community-the idea of being one body and mind in Christ, so that he does lead people to the same place to help one member of the body make a decision or discernment.

My second struggle is related to the first. What happens when two different people or groups of people feel like God is leading them to opposing things? Both groups are earnestly trying to pursue God and hear his voice but hear opposing things. One hears "no" and the other "yes."Say you had a community house and you were trying to decide whether or not to buy a car for the community. Five people feels "yes" the other five "no." Is one group holier than the other? Is God speaking to one but not the other? I don't know what the answer to this question is. It's a complete mystery to me. The two groups just feel led differently, it's not that one group didn't trust the other's discernment or listening. What is right thing to do at this point?

I guess the point of all this is that I'm still learning what it means to hear God's voice. All I can do is trust that God is working things out and let go of my own desires.

Arg, life is tough.

Peace

All Will Be Well

One of my favorite bands is called The Gabe Dixon Band. For some reason today, things kept happening to make me depressed, until this evening. I got home from hanging out with a friend, and it just seemed like everything was sad. I watched most of "Babel" and had to turn it off cause it was just making me feel depressed. After dinner with mom, my parents were gone for the evening so I tried to entertain myself, again trying to finish "Babel" but again too depressing. Then I watched some "Law and Order" later on- depressing again. A sixteen year-old girl trades sex in order to get someone to murder her mother. And then I thought I'd enjoy the "Wonder Years" later on, and the first episode was this sad episode about Kevin's grandfather who can't see well enough to drive anymore and has to finally let go of that part of his life, of which he has so many good memories.

I too am in the process of learning how to let go and trust. It's not easy. Trust means that we don't have control. Letting go means exactly that: letting go of something we once treasured, but it also means trusting that there's something different or better in store. I'm not an expert on the subject. But John 14 says "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust also in me." Simple words, not so simple to follow. I've made a lot of blunders in this area.

The reason why I mention the GBD is cause they have a song that really speaks about trust.

All Will Be Well:

The new day dawns
And I am practicing my purpose once again
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win
but if I lose, ooh, I don't know
I'll be tired but I will turn and I will go
Only guessing 'til I get there then I'll know
Ohh, I will know

And all the children walking home past the factories
Can see the light that's shining in my window
As I write this song to you
And all the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

The winter's cold
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know
That all will be well
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well

And all the children walking home past the factories
Can see the light that's shining in my window
As I write this song to you
And all the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

You got to keep it up
And don't give up
And chase your dreams
And you will find
All in time

And all the children walking home past the factories
Can see the light that's shining in my window
As I write this song to you
And all the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

All will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell
You can ask me how but only time will tell

Kenya Prayer Letter

Dear Friends and Family,

Grace and peace to you from our Lord, Jesus Christ. I hope this letter finds you still meditating on the wonder that came with Easter and contemplating the significance of our Savior’s death and resurrection for the world today. I am excited to let you know about a wonderful opportunity I have to serve God in Kenya this summer through an InterVarsity Global Project.

Last year around this time, I had planned to spend the summer in Kenya, having realized that I could no longer encourage others to care about the poor and marginalized without first having lived among, and having experienced, poverty at its cruelest. How could I join God in His love for the poor without knowing what it meant to be poor? But after spending two weeks serving the people of New Orleans after hurricane Katrina, I felt God pushing me to spend the summer in my own area of the world, and so I was blessed to spend six weeks doing InterVarsity’s Philadelphia Urban Project. I was given immeasurably more than I could have imagined from the children of Germantown (the neighborhood where I lived) and from the other college students who became family to me. Thanks to the time I spent in Philly, I feel prepared and excited to leave the comforts of America and join my brothers and sisters in Kenya.

What will I do in Kenya? The specifics of the trip are uncertain, other than the fact that I will spend time living with the family of a pastor or church leader and serving the community and slums of Kenya in some way. I most likely will be living in a community where poverty is not at its worst in Kenya, and the trip may not even focus on all the areas of poverty I feel called to. But I’m excited for a chance to look at the world through non-Western eyes and see where God is moving in our brothers and sisters in the developing world. My brother was blessed to experience this trip in 2002 and helped lead a Vacation Bible School for children living in the slums of Nairobi. But I think that what I actually do for seven weeks in Kenya is far less important than who I will be at the end of the trip. I expect God to transform me in ways I cannot imagine.

I am hoping that my excitement for the people I will get to serve will excite you as well. God has blessed me with a wonderful community of Christians, and I am asking for your support as I embark on this adventure. Please remember the people of Kenya, first and foremost, in your prayers, praying that God’s kingdom will come on Earth as it is in heaven. Please pray for me as well, that I will serve God and others with a humble heart. If you feel excited and want to contribute monetarily to support me in raising the $4200 I need for the trip, I would be eternally grateful. Checks can be made out to IVCF. In whatever way you are able to support me, I am thankful for just being able to share with you not only the ways God is moving in my life, but the hope I have in Jesus for the rest of the world.

Shalom,

Brian

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”